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Column
Drank
Acrobatic Bottle
None of us enjoy exploding bottles and these days, thank god, it is a rarity. But still if they’re going to go…it may as well be spectacular. One of our members had a bottle explode, which blew the arse out of the bottle shooting it up into the air and landed upside down…still 2/3 full. Do that again!Beer & Bread “I’m only a mere male” was the only excuse he offered. While trying to produce one of his award winning brews, Shawn Miles (our trusted adviser) mistook a bag of Crusty White bread mix for a Body Brew. The resulting beer was described as follows: A robust ale with good hop aroma & a firm CRUST! Female
Hormones in Beer! Yesterday, scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small
traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of
beer and observed that 100% of them started to talk nonsense and couldn't
drive. What’s
my name? I get my wife to bank the cash from the
brew shop. During one visit to the bank, the teller, while processing the
deposit said, “and how are you today Mrs
Brewer” and then realised what said. My wife, to save the teller
embarrassment said, “Fine thanks” Weight Loss Theory Many opinions are voiced in the shop but none as unique
as this one:
Brain cells are the densest cells in the human body, so when I kill them by drinking large quantities of beer…I’m actually loosing weight! How can you argue with
that? Business before Pleasure One of our members used to be the Fire Chief in his home town. He walked into the bar sat down and ordered half a pint. The bar tender was astonished…”only a half?” “Yeah, I have to go to
a fire!” Now we think he has his priorities right! Makes sense to me! Everyone has a opinion about why drinking large quantities of beer makes you pee a lot, but its plain and simple according to one of our members…. “Beer goes through the system so fast because it doesn’t have to stop to change colour!” That’s my daughter! Jamie, my daughter is 18 months old and starting to talk quite clearly now. As parents do, I tried to teach her some of the more important words. “What does Daddy make?…Beer!….you say it ….. Beer …. Mmmm …Beer” of which she replied “Beer” incredibly cutely or coarse. Not realising the affect of Beer on minors, I’ve now create a monster….now everything you point to is…Beer! Oh well!
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